No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTONPeople who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON







