If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
BEN ELTONPeople who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
BEN ELTON