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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Ben Elton

Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
BEN ELTON

Leader Looks Trying
My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
BEN ELTON

Atheist Parent Secular
For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTON

Night Past
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON

Fund Lady Old Pension
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON

Advice Looks Novel
I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON

Criticism Easy Inspiring
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
BEN ELTON

Love Memorable People
I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTON

Ambition Thinking Trying
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
BEN ELTON

Book Key Lecture Paper Read
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON

Jealous Love Lying Unrequited
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTON

Silly Stupid Wish
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
BEN ELTON

Facts Giving Kind
I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON

Celebration Losing World
I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
BEN ELTON

Mistake Risk Running
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON

Hot Police Writing

People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

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