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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Andy Rooney

If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY

Certain Finding Frustration Time
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Himself Meat
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness People Time
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY

Fast Listening Ourselves Talk
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Heart Learning Person Time Understand
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY

Easy Reading Sentence Suspicious Writing
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY

Big Bookstore Diet Eat Yourself
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

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