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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Andy Rooney

The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Fast Technology
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness News Print
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY

Drink Goodness Hands Happiness Live Quite
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Food Man Reality
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Head Rule World Yourself
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY

Custom Direction Evidence Institution Monument Myself Myth Social
It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Ideas Irony Life Live Old
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Ourselves Prison Religious
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Money Myself Standard
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY

Help Himself Learning Myself Prayer Strength Way
I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY

Change Fact Ignorance Learning Myself
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

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