I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEYI’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEYAnyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEYAlways keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEYAll of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEYThe 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEYWhen those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEYIf you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEYI’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEYIf you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEYThose of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEYDo I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEYThe fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY