Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEYIf you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
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I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
ANDY ROONEY