Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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