IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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