Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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