There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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