Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEPAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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