Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCEPAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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