ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCEFear has no brains; it is an idiot.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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