Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCEConversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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