Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCEApril fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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