Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCEApril fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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