Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCEBelladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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