Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
AMBROSE BIERCEBelladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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