April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCEKnowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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