Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCEEloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCELife – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCEPAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCERATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCEYear: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEMayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCEDivorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCEVote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCERUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCEForgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
AMBROSE BIERCEDemocracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCEREALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEPolitics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE