Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEPrescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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