Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCEPrescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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