April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCEPrescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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