PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCETo the eye of failure success is an accident.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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