Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCETo the eye of failure success is an accident.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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