Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCEMausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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