Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCEMausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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