LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCEMausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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