Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCELottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCEDon’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCEChristian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCEULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCESpeak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCECoward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCEReligion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCEBrain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCEAccordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEYear: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCEDemocracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCESweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCEMoney. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCESaint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE