Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE