Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCERUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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