“Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.”

It’s hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on.

Maybe I’ll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

I like to think that I’ve gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it’s stayed the same.

I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children’s book was something that I’d been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.

I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.

I know now that everything I write, I’m going to put out, and I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life.

I’ve done a movie and a TV series, and someday I’d like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.

They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It’s amazing.

I don’t want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to ‘The Flintstones’?’

He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I’ll catch up.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.

You don’t need to be defined by your job.

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.

You fake something until you’re good at it.

Our – our friends can’t trust us anymore. You know, Ukraine was a nuclear-armed state. They gave away their nuclear arms with the understanding that we would protect them. We won’t even give them offensive weapons.

The gymnasiacs of Venice, in California, are so addicted to these practices that there has arisen a nation of men who can no longer put their arms against their sides

There is nothing we can do about the lynching now, as we are out-numbered and without arms.

There will soon come an armed contest between capital and labor. They will oppose each other, not with words and arguments, but with shot and shell, gun-powder and cannon.

This war differs from other wars, in this particular. We are not fighting armies but a hostile people, and must make old and young, rich and poor, feel the hard hand of war.

An Army is a collection of armed men obliged to obey one man.

Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.

Look, I don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs.