“It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.”

So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, “Yes, of course they have, they’ve thought of it!”

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.

I’m very analytical, I’m very precise.

I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.

And then I’ll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.

I’m a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, “How am I going to screw this up?” [Laughs] If I’m really actively trying to think of a parody, then I’ll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.

If I could find the right kind of property, get tied in with the right movie, I’d love to be involved, but I just find it hard to be motivated to do another screenplay right now.

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career.

Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.

When I started out, I didn’t feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I’m accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.

I don’t like to label myself. I know I’m very hard to pigeonhole.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Change ain’t looking for friends. Change calls the tune we all dance to.

Friends don’t let heads drive drunk!

Nearly half of all murders were committed by friends, neighbors, and casual acquaintances.

Be careful how you judge people, most of all friends. You don’t sum up a man’s life in one moment.

I like women who can cook. That’s first. Love is very important, but you’ve got to have a friend first.

Successful brands get into the mind slowly. A blurb in a magazine. A mention in a newspaper. A comment from a friend. A display in a retail store.

You want to finally come to a point where you say that the women you’re with is also your friend.

Gary Bauer is a very good – he’s a good friend of mine.