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I don’t know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things.

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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
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I really do know football.
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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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