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I don’t know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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TV always wants more people to be watching.
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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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