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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.

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Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up

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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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I think diversity in television is important. It’s not about trying to fill a quota or satisfy some idea of diversity.
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I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
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You know, it’s about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying .
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I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I like grown up comedy.
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