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I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.

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Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie

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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
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One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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You know, it’s about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying .
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the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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