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I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.

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Black Crack Doe Droop

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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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Embrace Happier Instant Other People Say
I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
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I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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