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My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

Aisha Tyler

I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
AISHA TYLER

Battle Brand Easy Fought Fulfillment Goal Matter One Personal Really Sacrifice Worth
I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Audience Come Enough Know Smart Treat Word
I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
AISHA TYLER

Back Car Dad Grade Motorcycle School Teenager
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
AISHA TYLER

Each Embrace Ethnic Group Other People Teach Tell Trying
I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
AISHA TYLER

Almost Challengee Done Happiest Lucky Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under Wish
If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
AISHA TYLER

Move Need Poop Ruin Someone Terminate Thing Workplace
I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
AISHA TYLER

Dating Divorce Favorite Game Girlfriend Now Play Real Right Tinder
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
AISHA TYLER

All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
AISHA TYLER

Blame Else God Human Immediate Look Much Parent Politician Resource Someone Toddler
No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
AISHA TYLER

Awesome Blew Hear Need People Thinking Time Want
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
AISHA TYLER

Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way
I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
AISHA TYLER

Fell Job Love Miserable One Performing Realize Slowly Stand Unhappy
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
AISHA TYLER

Glamorous Stand Tell Up
I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
AISHA TYLER

Friend Hope Kindest Little Own Probably Supportive
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
AISHA TYLER

Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way

My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

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My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

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Popular Authors

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