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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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Icon Know Myself Nerd Thinking
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
AISHA TYLER

Glamorous Stand Tell Up
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
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Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
TV always wants more people to be watching.
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More People Television Want Watch
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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Away Busy Job Other Plenty Possible Thing Want Went
I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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Country Dehydrate Grade Green Most Seventh Smelling Spent Summer
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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Always Guest Interview Know Listen People Person Really Somebody Tell Want
But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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Diversity Idea Important Quota Satisfy Some Television Think Trying
I really do know football.
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Do Football Know Really
It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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Apparently Day Desk Drink Fluorescent Frown Generally Hard Last Lighting Upon

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