Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
ADAM FERRARALadies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
ADAM FERRARA






