I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARAMen tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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If you look at a group of people that had faith, it’s got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, ‘I don’t think he knows where he’s going.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA