People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLAChicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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