I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLAI would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLA