I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLAThe truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA