The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDSIt is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never eat before breakfast.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS