Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDSComedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I drink therefore I am.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS