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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

W. C. Fields

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.

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