“We’re intellectual opposites. Well, I’m intellectual and you’re opposite.”

Flattery will get you everywhere.

I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.

Give a man free hands, and you’ll know where to find them.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

The score never interested me, only the game.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

Love is what you make it and who you make it with.

When in doubt take a bath.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

How can such scary looking parents create something so cute?

For someone who doesn’t even like love stories, I’ve played an awful lot of lovers.

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?