“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.”

Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Don’t mind your make-up, you’d better make your mind up.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.

Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes.

The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it’s going to bother you and then, the worse things get.

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.

A composer’s job involves the decoration of fragments of time.

Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.

Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Don’t go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.

Ask advice of him who governs himself well.

I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m gonna ignore your advice.

My advice is find fuel in failure. Sometimes failure gets you closer to where you want to be.

We must consult our means rather than our wishes.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

Hang on to your youthful enthusiasms – you’ll be able to use them better when you’re older.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

Often you just have to rely on your intuition.