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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Frank Zappa

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
FRANK ZAPPA

Beware Enemy Fish People
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
FRANK ZAPPA

Asshole Chemical Compound Drugs People
Modern music is people who can’t think signing artists who can’t write songs to make records for people who can’t hear.
FRANK ZAPPA

Artist Modern Music Song
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.
FRANK ZAPPA

Love Music Song
The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it’s going to bother you and then, the worse things get.
FRANK ZAPPA

Bother Escape Horrible Inspirational
Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them’s really right, cause neither of them care.
FRANK ZAPPA

Democracy Millionaire Politics Republic
A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.
FRANK ZAPPA

Disco Environment Philosophy Politics
The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart.
FRANK ZAPPA

Flame Heart Romantic
Don’t mind your make-up, you’d better make your mind up.
FRANK ZAPPA

Inspirational Make Up
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
FRANK ZAPPA

Deviation Motivational Progress
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
FRANK ZAPPA

Space Universe
Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.
FRANK ZAPPA

Healing Inspirational Sick
The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.
FRANK ZAPPA

Determination Difference Estate Religion
Don’t go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.
FRANK ZAPPA

Bed Crazy Sex
If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.
FRANK ZAPPA

Children Lame Murder Sleep
The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
FRANK ZAPPA

Computer Emotional Mathematics Story
There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
FRANK ZAPPA

Atheist Bend Difference Knee
Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.
FRANK ZAPPA

Arrangement Beginning Inspirational Play Wrong
If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.
FRANK ZAPPA

Cheap Freedom
It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.
FRANK ZAPPA

Judgment Knowledge Ugly
I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.
FRANK ZAPPA

Enjoyment Irritation People
The richest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or rich. That leaves me making music. But we can’t talk about that.
FRANK ZAPPA

Happiness Music People Rich Smart
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
FRANK ZAPPA

Architecture Dance Music Writing
We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy.
FRANK ZAPPA

Acknowledgement Crazy Improvement Mental Health Parents
You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?
FRANK ZAPPA

Be Yourself Believe
All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
FRANK ZAPPA

Beyond Children Control Poor System Unfortunate Victim
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
FRANK ZAPPA

Hydrogen Life Stupidity Universe

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

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More Frank Zappa Quotes