The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.
FRANK ZAPPAWriting about music is like dancing about architecture.
More Frank Zappa Quotes
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Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.
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Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes.
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The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
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So many books, so little time.
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If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.
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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
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A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
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I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
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Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.
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May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
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I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss.
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Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.
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We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy.
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Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.
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It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.
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Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.
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There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.
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Don’t mind your make-up, you’d better make your mind up.
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If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.
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A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.
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The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.
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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
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The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.
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Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
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The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
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We pretend to be a free society, and we pretend to be an adult society, but if you look at the facts, our news is just as contrived, and controlled as Pravda!
FRANK ZAPPA