If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGETWhat I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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I have no agenda, nothing to control.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET