Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
BILLY CONNOLLYMarriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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