I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGETI love my mom! You can too for $12!
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET