The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGETSome people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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I love my mom! You can too for $12!
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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I have no agenda, nothing to control.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET