Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEYCome to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
BILL BAILEY