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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Bob Saget

Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET

House Waiting Yesterday
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
BOB SAGET

Dad Dark House
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
BOB SAGET

Penguins People Want
The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Interesting Thinking
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGET

Interesting People Way
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish

My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

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My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

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Popular Authors

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