You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
BILL HICKSEngland, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
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The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.
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All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
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Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
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Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …
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No one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
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I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS






