People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
BILL BAILEYI’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
BILL BAILEY