It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGETSometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGET -
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
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Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET -
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET -
That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET -
Everyone I love I pay.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET -
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
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I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET -
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET -
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET