black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.

Bob Saget

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET

Behind Every Great Man Men Prison
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Morning Thinking
Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
BOB SAGET

Fire Light People
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET

Smart Teacher Yoga
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET

Dad Dollar Funny Mom Sex
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Dirty Nuts Show Shows Television
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGET

Choices Done Procrastination

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes