For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAMPostmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I’m OK, but that’s about it. I like to think I’m good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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Where are all the sour patch parents?
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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