Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAMIf Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
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The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
BO BURNHAM