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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Bill Watterson

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Refuse Wonder World
In the right hands, a comic strip attains a beauty and elegance that, really, I would put against any other art.
BILL WATTERSON

Art Book Comics Hands
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Ecstasy Enough
I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
BILL WATTERSON

Homework Negotiation Procrastinating Skills Use
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorant Men Risk
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
BILL WATTERSON

Faces People Possums
Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.
BILL WATTERSON

Faster Reading Sweat

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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Popular Authors

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