Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKSYou know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts.”
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
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Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It’s a war against our civil rights, that’s all it is. They’re using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
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Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
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I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
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I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS