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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

Billy Crystal

I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Acting Comedy Truthful
Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Looks Reach
Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Home Style
There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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Kids Nice Thinking
[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Stars Uncle
I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
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Different Happened Something
It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
BILLY CRYSTAL

Financial Funny Money
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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Clothes Differences Looks
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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Dad Father Respect
There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Big Clothes Difference Mostly
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ghouls Saws Sids
When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Art Comedy Way
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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Comedy Kids Scary
The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hearing Noise Scared

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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